Thursday, August 1, 2019

It's okay to let go.

Grande, R. (2012). The Distance Between Us; A memoir. New York:NY, Washington Square Press.


Reyna used books as an escape and a refuge. She was no longer in ESL classes but still felt self-conscious about her accent and her name and anything else that made her seem different than her American peers. She fantasized about the lives of the characters she read about. She identified with the mother of a book that featured a neglectful mother. Those characters actually made her feel better because they had it worse than her and somehow that was a comfort. After her heart was broken, books were there for her, even when no one else was.

Books were also a window in a world she never knew and a mirror of her own life. Through her mentor, Diana Savas, Reyna discovered books with characters that looked like her and had lives that were similar. This awakened in Reyna a new understanding and the knowledge that she was not alone.

Reyna also feel in love with writing. Like music, the writing took away her accent. She discovered she was a good writer and even won a writing contest in her school.  She hoped that this accomplishment would make her father proud, but “making my father proud had turned out to be impossible” (p. 242).  Writing became her avenue to higher education and she became the first in her family to graduate from college.

Mago dropped out of college to pay off her debts, but then got pregnant and got married. Carlos dropped out of college because he fell in love and now had a family to support. Reyna’s romantic relationships were fraught with her tendency in her youth to be attracted to men like her father – who did not fully accept her.

Her relationship with her father continued to be violent and conflicted but she ultimately was able to give forgiveness. Sometimes she would think that when she was little, The Man Behind the Glass was a better father than the man she knew. She has asked, no, begged to come with them to America so a part of her thought she was getting what she deserved. It wasn’t his fault that it wasn’t all that she had hoped for. After all her disappointments though Reyna continued to want to please him and desired his acceptance of her above everything else.

It took the support of one teacher to make all the difference in Reyna’s life. She encouraged her, protected her and even lived with her. Diana is a huge influence on who Reyna became – more like a parent than she’d ever really had.

Diana Savas:
Image result for diana savas


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